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Tony the Tiger: The Untold Story NSFW

Sep 13, 2020Uncategorized0 comments

Ah, Tony the Tiger, a childhood hero, and cereal icon. This sugar flake peddling tiger has been in my life since I started eating solid food, but more recently I’ve started to notice his absence, Tony hasn’t been on the Kellogg’s UK Instagram since July 2017 and was completely absent when Kellogg’s did a complete brand relaunch in 2019, so it got me thinking, where did the most iconic Cereal mascot come from, and where is he now? The more I found out the more I started scratching my head, so I put 2 + 2 together and got a forlorn story of drugs, sex, and downright animal abuse, so hear me out with this, and you can decide if Tony the Tiger was a pumped-up prostitute leading a double life, or just a cartoon tiger.

Let’s go back to the start, Tony the tiger was first unleashed onto the public way back in 1952 when an X-Factor style popularity contest would let the good public decide which wild animal would become Kellogg’s newest cereal mascot. Tony went up against Katy the Kangaroo, Elmo the Elephant, and Newt the Gnu (A wildebeest), before landing the job and the nation’s hearts. Thrown into the spotlight Tony was quickly becoming a household name, with his slogan ‘they’re Grrrreat’, being shouted at breakfast tables across America.

Tony enjoyed his early days of Fame through the 50s & 60s, with an easy life of cereal commercials and photoshoots, it was in the early 70s that Tony started his own pride,  meeting his wife Mrs. Tony who birthed their 2 children Tony Jr, and Antoinette. It was Tony’s hunger for fame and popularity, along with dwindling popularity, that would force him to include his family in the cereal commercials that made him famous. Not only would tony pimp his family into advertising, but he wanted his only son to have a real taste of the fame and notoriety he got and Tony JR would go on to be the new face of Sugar Krispies, but little did tony know this would tear his family apart, and lead him down a new darker path.

Tony Jr never lived up to his father’s legacy and was dropped as the face of sugar Krispies, and Tonys Family, who have not been seen since those commercials in the 70s, vanished around the same time that Tony started his transformation to superstardom. With Fame, comes money, and industry pressures with high expectations of perfection, and this ain’t no different for cartoon tigers, during the 70s, tony transformed from a scrawny football head-shaped tiger that walked on all 4s, to a muscular 7 ft giant walking on his hind legs and a sporting a new chiseled face, which could only be achieved with cosmetic surgery and steroids, but did tony give up on his family for a new look and more fame? I’ll let you decide.

Tonys new muscular stature launched him into a new decade as a sporting hero, with new ad campaigns promoting active kids and sporting achievements, tony was a basketball pro, and the 80s seen kids everywhere desperate for a tony the tiger swimming badge, bike reflector, or basketball. Tony had achieved icon status, but like many icons, things are very different behind closed doors. When Tony had his relaunch, and new look, his nose was noticeably more blue than before, something which was always out of place with his look, but we know when human alcoholics drink to excess for long periods, they can get an alcoholics nose, a swollen red and sometimes purple/blue in extreme cases, caused by burst blood vessels on the nose and face, was overindulgence in alcohol the reason for Tony’s peculiar nose colour? Or has a botched nose job left him with irreversible damage and skin not receiving enough blood resulting in a blue colour?

There is one theory that could explain Tonys’ behavior and that is that he is Gay, and couldn’t deal with life in the spotlight while in the closet, so overindulged in drugs, alcohol, and steroids for the pumped-up super masculine look. Gay culture has always had a handkerchief code, and tony has always worn his neck scarf with pride, and to the left, and a red handkerchief worn on the left was gay code for someone who liked to fist in the bedroom. Gay culture has also been fuelled by hyper-masculinity, and tony was a perfect example of this, with his bulging muscles. Was Tony’s sexuality the reason he left his family back in the 70s to embark on his new life? Maybe we’ve been missing these signs all along, did Kelloggs try and drop hints on Tony in their 2014 pride campaign, perhaps, but it wasn’t until Tony set up his own twitter account that we started getting a glimpse into the possible hidden life of Tony the Tiger.

Tony joined twitter in 2013, and for the first time the public could directly interact with Tony the tiger, but things quickly took a turn for the worst. Tony was soon being bombarded with tweets from furries, saying some less than family-friendly things, Tony started blocking furries all over the Twittersphere, before eventually deleting his account after being overwhelmed with sexual content. Were these furries outing Tonys debauched behavior, and the fact that his dirty laundry was now in the open, tony couldn’t face the public knowing his truth, so deleted his account? Just look at some of these tweets, his neck scarf isn’t the only sign he enjoyed a fist in the bedroom.

After years of hiding his personal life, was this the final straw for Tony the Tiger? Now his private life was becoming public knowledge, could Tony’s return to stardom be tainted? How could he return to be the face of a kiddies cereal brand? Well maybe he couldn’t, and this is why Kellogs UK completely left tony out of the marketing campaign on the brand relaunch in 2019, we saw Coco the monkey, and Snap Crackle and Pop, but they seem to have completely forgotten about Tony. The story is the same on Instagram, Tony hasn’t been featured since July 2017, and only featuring in 4 posts since the brand launched the UK Instagram in 2016. It seems Kelloggs are keen to support their LGBT staff & mascots, but when they have their debaucherous gay lifestyle exposed, maybe that’s when the family brand has to draw the line.

 Kelloggs Uk, are steering clear of Tony, and although still featuring him on the packaging, we don’t see much else of tony across any promotional material. But Kelloggs US still have Tonys back, with a recent new campaign to get sports back into schools, and a very peculiar Instagram, jumping on the back of the LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Tinder trend, Kelloggs posted this picture. I don’t think you need to read too far into this to see that Tony is clearly showing off his best ASSet, and any gay man will tell you, an ass shot is a familiar pic on gay tinder. So are Kellogg’s USA embracing their gay mascot with a sex-positive post? or is this a faux-pas from a social media intern?

What do you think? Would you like to see a full coming out confessional? Have Kellogg’s treatment of Tony enough to get Carol Baskin on a rescue mission? Or should I stop sexualising cartoon animals for the sake of a good blog post? 

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